Radical Vulnerability

Radical Vulnerability

Hi, I’m Destiny and I absolutely lost my sh*t today. I spent over an hour full on ugly crying in my car (think Kim Kardashian but worse). I thought about not sharing this experience at all because let’s face it, it’s kind of embarrassing. Then I realized that by not sharing I’d be doing myself a huge disservice.

You see, I’ve been trying to fully understand myself more, to love myself more, and to fully step into my power. In order to truly show up for myself, and as my highest self I have to embrace the good as well as the bad.

I absolutely lost my sh*t today and that’s okay because I know that I’m in full control of my reality. I could choose to view what happened today as crappy. I could let it ruin my night, or hell even my entire week. I could choose to be so caught up in those negative emotions that I lose focus on what’s important to me. Or, I could choose to honor those feelings, and move through them. I could choose joy.

Today, I choose joy. I choose to look back on that moment and see it for what it was- incredible. I allowed myself to succumb to my feelings, to crack my heart wide open and I feel liberated! I will no longer carry the burden of bottled up emotions. I’m a firm believer that breakdowns lead to breakthroughs and today only helped to solidify that idea in my mind.

“I’m not the defender of the darkness, but I understand it’s role in the ecology of my life. And just as I own my pain when I’m navigating it, so too do I own my joy when I’m buoyantly floating in it like a smitten kitten.”

-Tara Bliss

Spiritual Boss Babe Essentials

Spiritual Boss Babe Essentials

We all know life is f*cking crazy sometimes. I’ve faced my share of negative days, and I know you all have too. That’s why I wanted to put together this little spiritual must- haves and gift guide. Share this with someone close to you that needs a little help feeling grounded, or spoil yourself!

After a lot of testing, I’ve finally put together my top five spiritual must-haves. I hope this helps all of my #highvibebabes stay grounded and positive.

#1 Sage

I know, this one seems pretty obvious but I can’t go without sage. Seriously, I’m obsessed. You can’t welcome new positive energy into your life without clearing out the bad first. Cultures all around the world have used sacred herbs, woods, incense and more to cleanse and bless themselves. If you want to get super fancy you can purchase a smudge kit like this one here. If you’re on the less fancy side (like myself) you can pick up a regular ole sage bundle here. Just make sure you have a little plate or bowl you can catch the ashes in.

#2 Pink Himalayan Salt Lamp

If you haven’t heard of salt lamps by now, I’m going to need you to crawl out from under that rock your living under. Seriously, it’s 2019 and everyone should have one of these things. Before I get into the spiritual aspects of salt lamps, I’ll break down the science of how they work. Salt lamps absorb water the air and also take in positive ions. When heated the lamp releases clean water vapor back into the air along with negative ions. This exchange of positive and negative ions increases cilia activity in the lungs helping to keep them clear. Pretty nifty huh? Now that I have all the science out of the way, I can explain the real reason why I keep one in my home – negative ions. These little babies increase the vibration of your home and attract positive energy. #goodvibesonly This one is fairly inexpensive, and a good size to start with.

# 3 Essential Oil Diffuser

I literally have one of this with me at all times! I have multiple at home, one on my desk at work, one for my car and I even wear a diffuser bracelet. I won’t go into too much detail here because I’ll be touching essential oils a little later in this post. Click the links to snag some really nice inexpensive diffusers because trust me, you need one (or ten)!

# 4 A Journal

Journaling is incredibly therapeutic for our souls! I use my journal to take time to reflect and connect more with myself. I document everything from dreams, to do list, tarot reading notes, and spontaneous ideas that pop into my head through the day. Turn off your electronics and really take time to embrace that special connection between you and your highest self! A super simple notebook is fine but if you’re anything like me you’ll want something incredibly beautiful to write in. You can find plenty of beautiful journals here. If you prefer something hand made you can snag one here!

#5 Essential oils

Oils are something I hold near and dear. They’re a huge part of my families day to life. They’re an incredible tool to have if you’re wanting to manage your health naturally, but the thing that I love the most is their incredible ability to help manage emotions. Oils are a lifeline for me, I simply couldn’t make it through the day without them. They help me control my anxiety, and panic attacks as well as PPD. I already have a link to where you can purchase the best quality essential oils. Click the “products I love” tab to check it out. If you’ve never tried essential oils and are interested, shoot me an email and I’ll send some straight to your door free of charge.

My 10 year glow up.

My 10 year glow up.

I figured I’d jump on the bandwagon with this #10yearchallenge and share my little glow up with you guys. Honestly, this is more of a #6yearchallenge for me because I can’t find any pictures from before 2013.

well here she is, 2013 Destiny in all her glory.

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The day of my high school graduation. It’s hard for me to even look at this picture. I don’t recognize this girl anymore. Just two months from the time this picture was taken I would make the worst decision of my life (continuing an affair with my high school English teacher). And just six months later I was pregnant (for the second time), and shortly after I was healing physically and emotionally from an ended pregnancy and a toxic relationship.

I have no idea that the next two and a half years would be the most trying times of my life. I left abusive relationship after abusive relationship. And when someone else wasn’t abusing me I was abusing myself. I was smoking a pack of cigarettes a day and was completely dependent on drugs and alcohol to function. I wore too much makeup and straightened my hair too often.I spent days laying on my floor crying. I was riddled with anxiety and self hatred. I honesty can’t remember a day I didn’t want to die.

I want to make it very clear that I’m not sharing this to gain pitty. I’m sharing this because I’m in complete awe of how far I’ve come. Like I said, I don’t even recognize the girl in that picture, she’s gone and I couldn’t be happier with that.

Honestly I look back on these days fondly. I truly wouldn’t be the woman I am today without these experiences. These years taught me so much about self preservation, and most importantly self love. I didn’t know what I was capable of back then. I doubted myself way too often, but I’ll never make that mistake again.

This is 2019 Destiny. A self love goddess. A woman who know exactly who she is. A mother, a daughter, a wife, a friend, a truly happy person.

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Before I go, I’d like to share a quote that I live.

“You are your greatest project. Your relationship with self will be the most fulfilling thing you ever pour love into. When we pour our love into ourselves we then flow into the other relationships and connections in our life. Without filling ourselves first we are trying to give what we don’t even have. We can become resentful, bitter, and not in our highest self. You are here to love but it must start with you.”

-Marisa Lacer

I’m all for personal growth and development so share your 10 year glow up with me on Instagram.

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A little boy lost – preview.

A little boy lost – preview.

Hi my sweet sweet friends! I know I haven’t posted in a while. Honestly I feel like you guys should be used to that 😂

The last 6 months have been a challenge to say the least. I’m finally ready to open up about our experience. I promise a more in-depth post is coming.

Like I said, the past 6 months have been a challenge. However, I’m so thankful for this experience. It’s been so eye opening. I’ve learned so much about myself, and my son. I’m thankful for the son god has given me, autism and all. I’m thankful that I get to share all of this with all of you.

Originally,I wanted to share this on my Instagram but I felt a more “formal” post was necessary. This picture is from last weekend, and it’s completely changed my outlook on our battle with autism. This moment is when it finally hit me that all of this was worth it. Most importantly it reminded me to keep trusting myself and Tyler as parents. This journey as been a long one and it’s no where near finished yet but we’re getting there.

For those of you who don’t have a lot of exposure to autism you may not understand why this is a big deal. Don’t worry, I’ll expalin 😉. 6 months ago my son lost almost all eye contact and he stopped talking. He became clumsy, and withdrawan. He was trapped within himself, but we’re slowly getting him back. This picture proves it.

For the parents who feel like they’re fighting a loosing battle don’t give up. You are not alone. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. You got this. I believe in you.

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Xoxo

Destiny

 

Raising a child without a voice: My non-verbal toddler.

Raising a child without a voice: My non-verbal toddler.

It’s been a while since I’ve uploaded, I know that. I needed some time away. You see, I started this blog for myself. Sort of a digital journal. It was something I enjoyed, and then it wasn’t. So, I took some much needed time off. I’d like to give a big thank you to the people who emailed me in my absence, and the people who continued to share my posts. You truly have no idea how much that means to me. That’s enough explaining, on to today’s post.

I’m sure most of you are confused because I’ve never shared this part of my life before. Whenever I mention Walter, I mention how proud I am of him and how much I love him. Both of those things are true, but I’m afraid by being too positive I’ve contributed to a twisted perception of people on the spectrum. ( I’m using the term ” on the spectrum” because Walter hasn’t been officiously diagnosed but i’ll share more about that in a different post.) Most of the time when I tell people Walter is on the spectrum, I hear “but he looks so normal!”, or my personal favorite ” really?! He seems so smart!”.  It’s 2018 people! How is that so little is understood about people with autism. Why don’t we talk more openly about a condition that affects 1 in 68 children? Trust me, I know I’m contributing to the linear view people have of autism because I never share the bad parts. I’m never honest with people when the ask what it’s really like to have a child on the spectrum. Most of the time I’m not even honest with myself. So, In order to help people get a better understanding of my son, myself, and every other person on the spectrum I’m sharing the honest truth…autism sucks. There, I said it.

There are incredible joy-filled moments, and Walter is a truly incredible kid who I’ll love forever but Sometimes I want to pull my hair out! I have Moments when I just want to scream or cry, or both. Raising a non-verbal child is difficult. It’s hard for us, his parents, but it’s especially hard on him. We have to work through a lot of frustration every single day. I’d like you to visualize our day. Close your eyes for a second. Now imagine that you’re really hungry but you depend on someone else to feed you. Now, imagine how you’d feel if you needed food but you had no way of communicating that. You try to talk but only gibberish comes out. Then, you try to mime what you want but you can’t seem to make your hands move the right way. It sounds horrible, doesn’t it? That’s life for so many people on the spectrum.

As Walter’s mother, I want to make everything better. I want to help him. I want so badly to fix “it”. I don’t want to fix him. I want to do what other moms do. They make things better. But I can’t, not me. When Walter needs something and I’m unable to understand him, I feel powerless. I scrabble frantically trying to figure out what it is. I spend a few minutes showing him various items in the hopes that maybe he’ll want one of them. When I’m wrong – which I usually am – things go down hill quickly. He gets frustrated, and I can’t blame him. He puts in so much effort, despritaly trying to communicate his needs to me and time after time I fail to comprehend what he’s saying. I can usually feel the tension build as I continue to guess the wrong thing. The grunts will get louder and louder until he’s spiraling into a full on melt down. Once we’ve reached this point there’s really not much I can do to soothe  him. I patiently wait for him to self regulate by stimming, all the while feeling helpless…

When you hear me say that I wouldn’t trade Walter for the world, I mean it. He’s truly an incredible child. Everyday he teaches me about perseverance, courage, and love. He shows me what joy looks like, and I really wouldn’t change that for anything! What I would like to change are his struggles.

To my darling Walter: If you ever read this, know that I’m trying my best. Know that if I could carry this burden for you I would. Know that I’m fighting for you, and will continue  to fight for you until all the pieces fit.

To the autism Mama: You got this, I promise. It’ll be hard but it’ll also be beautiful. You are loved. You are enough. You are strong. You are #autismstrong!

Xoxo,

Destiny

 

 

 

Healing Tooth Decay Naturally

Healing Tooth Decay Naturally

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Hello friends! I’ve gotten an incredible amount of questions regarding Walter’s teeth since my last post. So as promised, I’m going to share what I’ve learned about demineralization, as well as the toothpaste recipe we’ll be using to help combat the problem.

This simplest place for me to begin is explaining what demineralization is, and why you don’t want it happening to your little one’s teeth. Before I get into that I want to stress that no amount of natural toothpaste will help if your diet isn’t in order. When the diet is right, a natural toothpaste that facilitates remineralization will help.

Alright, so what is demineralization?
To put it simply, demineralization is the breakdown of tooth enamel. It is the earliest form of tooth decay and is most commonly seen on the surface of the teeth as frosty white spots. Demineralization can be caused by eating a lot of processed sugar and drinking acidic things like coffee and soda. If you’re anything like me, you’d never allow your kids to have things like that. So, you’re probably wondering how the hell your kid ended up with dissolving tooth enamel. Don’t worry I felt the exact same way. I felt like all the hard work I had done to ensure my son had a healthy diet was all of nothing. I never thought for a second the healthy fruits I was feeding him could cause his teeth to break down. The sugar, and acid in fruit can soften the enamel is left on the surface of the teeth for too long. I want to stress that I am in no way saying you shouldn’t feed your child fruit because it will ruin their teeth. I still give my son fruit every single day, and that will never change. However, now that I know he has softer enamel then most I take special care to clean his teeth after he eats fruit. I encourage him to drink water right after having fruit, and if he eats something very acidic, like oranges, I’ll brush his teeth once he’s finished eating.

Now that we’ve gone over all that boring stuff, I’ll get into the recipe we’re using.
After doing a ton of research, I found a recipe I was comfortable using here..
If you have no desire to make your own toothpaste, or simply don’t have the time, you can find a natural toothpaste right here. 😊

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Natural Toothpaste for Healing cavities, and Demineralization.

Ingredients
6 Tablespoons of organic virgin coconut oil, or red palm oil (FIND IT HERE)
1 Tablespoon Baking soda. Make sure it aluminum free!
5 Tablespoons calcium carbonate (FIND IT HERE)
1-2 Tablespoons food grade bentonite clay (FIND IT HERE)
20-30 Drops Peppermint essential oil. (If you’re not comfortable using EO you can use Peppermint flavoring)
5-10 Drops lemon essential oil (Again, you can substitute lemon flavoring)
30 Drops trace minerals (FIND IT HERE)
Filtered water as needed. Please make sure you’re using filtered water and NOT tap water. It’s important there is no fluoride, or chlorine in the water you use.

Instructions
Mix the ingredients in a glass or plastic bowl, and store in a glass container. Some people think the transition is easier if the toothpaste is in a squeezable tube. You can find refillable silicon tubes here..
It’s extremely important that you DO NOT use any metal tools to mix your toothpaste. The bentonite clay will become inactive when it meets metal.

Suggested Use
Brush teeth twice daily with a natural toothbrush. We like these.. Before nighttime brushing you can add one drop of Lugol’s Iodine to the toothbrush. It’s extremely important to check with a medical professional before adding iodine to your routine. You only want to use the iodine if you know you or your child has a deficiency.
Also, be sure to consult with a dentist, preferably a holistic one, to ensure that any problem with cavities or demineralization is truly improving and not worsening.

If you’re interested in more information of healing dental problems naturally I highly suggest you read the book “Cure Tooth Decay” by Ramiel Nagel. You can find a link to it here.

Make sure you join the family by signing up for email notifications. Next week I’ll be sharing more about our no spend month, and you don’t want to miss it!

Until next time my friends

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Disclaimer: Obviously I’m not a dentist. I’m just a mom who has read a lot of articles about teeth and feels comfortable making toothpaste for my family. Please take everything I’ve written here with a grain of salt. Do you own research, don’t just listen to people on the internet.
Our No Spend Month: Two Weeks In.

Our No Spend Month: Two Weeks In.

Open Late Christmas

Hi there, my sweet sweet friends! I hope the first two weeks of 2018 have treated you well. I’m sure a lot of you are wondering how we’ve been holding up during our no Spend challenge. I’ll be honest with you, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done and it definitely hasn’t gone the way I planned. However, I’ve learned a lot these past two weeks and I’m looking forward to finishing this challenge on a positive note.

So what exactly went wrong? Well, the simplest explanation would be that we spent money when we weren’t supposed to. In the past, I probably would have just given up. I would have felt defeated, and probably would have never attempted a no Spend challenge again. This time, I decided to practice what I preach and just roll with it.

So here’s what happened. First, Walter had to have some blood work done (don’t worry he’s fine, I’ll be writing about this soon), so Tyler and I decided to treat him with a trip to the children’s museum. While we were out, we got lunch with my mother. Now, I could have used this opportunity to save money like I was supposed to. I could have easily told my mother that we couldn’t go to lunch because we weren’t spending money this month, but I didn’t. I chose to hang out with my mom instead of saving thirty bucks, and I’m glad we did it. Like I said, I could have easily said no, or we could have done something free but we didn’t. I’ve chosen not to beat myself up about. 2018 is all about being patient with myself.

Our second exception to our no Spend challenge was buying supplements for Walter. Recently we discovered Walter has some demineralization on his two front teeth. In order to combat this issue, Tyler and I have decided to try to remineralize his teeth with a homemade toothpaste, and some small changes to his diet. If you’re interested in our toothpaste recipe, and the exact supplements Walter will be on make sure you check back next week. I’ll be writing a post all about it.

If you decided to join us during our no Spend month, I’d love to hear how it’s going. Feel free to leave me a comment here or on my Instagram! I’ll be doing a full recap of the month, and going over exactly what I’ve learned from the experience at the end of the month. Make sure you subscribe so you get an email notification every time I make a post!

Until next time. I’m sending you lots of love, and all the positive vibes.

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