FINDING JOY

FINDING JOY

I want to start off by saying I am not an expert. Anyone who has known me for years can tell you I can be one of the most pessimistic people on earth. I’m not denying that, and I’m not saying that my life is always perfect. Trust me it’s far from it, however, since becoming a parent my outlook on life has changed dramatically. Don’t get me wrong I still have my bad days just like anyone else. What’s different is I no longer allow myself to wallow in misery. Basically what I’m trying to say is yes I lose my shit every now and then, but when that happens I pick myself up and move on. Because of that, I can honestly say for the first time in my life I’m finally at peace with myself.

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So what is joy?

Before we dive too deep I want to tell you the definition of joy, “a feeling of great pleasure or happiness”. This can mean something different to different people. I find my joy in motherhood, others may not. In order for you to be truly happy, you have to find what joy is to you.

Before I had my son I was fighting a never ending battle. I felt dissatisfied with my life, and I couldn’t understand why I was so unhappy. I knew things had to change before I brought my son into the mix. I took a step back and really tried to reevaluate my life. What I discovered was astounding. I realized that my outlook on life, my own personal negativity, and the way I dealt with situations was the cause for 99.9% of my problems. I was choosing to be miserable. Once I realized that my life started to change.

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So…what exactly did I change?

I started with the way I viewed life. By “life” I mean the day to day situations we all deal with. I realized I complained A LOT. When I say a lot I mean all the time. I found myself complaining from the time I woke up until I went to sleep. I spent my entire day focusing on every negative thing that happened to me. Once I realized this I decided to make a conscious effort to stop being a negative Nancy. Don’t get me wrong I still find myself complaining about things here and there but it’s nothing compared to the way I was.

The next thing I gave up was negative self-talk. This had a huge impact on my life. I never knew how draining negative self-talk could be until I gave it up (for the most part). I’m a firm believer that we speak things into existence, so if you’re constantly telling yourself you’ll never accomplish XYZ then you never will. Always be kind to yourself.

I would have to say the most important thing I did was stop blaming people for my shortcomings. Often it’s a lot easier to point the finger at someone else when things don’t go as planned. I’ll be honest I did this a lot. Now I’m learning to take responsibility for my decisions. It’s not always easy but it’s worth it.

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So….What’s next?

My next steps is a journey of self-refection, and truly becoming the type of person I want to be. I know I have a long road ahead of me but I’m excited about the future. If nothing else I plan on teaching my son that it’s possible to live a life that it inline with you value, and a life that brings you true happiness.

Live for you and only you. If you’re unhappy with the way your life is going do whatever you can to change it. Don’t settle for a life you don’t want.

xoxo

Destiny

Crunchy Mama Must Haves

Crunchy Mama Must Haves

Hello my sweet sweet friends! I’m glad you’re back. I decided to post a list of my top crunchy must haves. When I was pregnant I read tons of these to get an idea of what I might need for baby. If you’re expecting, or if or looking for more natural products this is the post for you. Enjoy! Oh and to make things a little easier for you I’ve included links to where you can buy all the products listed.

1. The Windi 

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These little beauties are a life saver. I seriously don’t know what I would have done without them. When my son was dealing with terrible gas pain I would use a windi and it seconds my little guy would be gas free. They are safe, effective, and a better option than giving your little one medicine (in my opinion).

2.Gripe Water

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If you’re looking for something to help with more that just gas I would try gripe water. This is great for colic and hiccups! It’s made from all natural ingredients which gives me peace of mind. Whenever my little guy was having a hard time with hiccups, I would gibe him a little bit of this and poof they were gone!

3. Baby Carrier

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A baby carrier is a must-have for any new mom in my opinion! This helps a ton with getting things done around the house, or just getting in some extra snuggles. If you have a baby that doesn’t like to be put down popping them in a carrier meets their needs as well as helping mama keep her sanity! They one I’m wearing here is a chimparoo woven wrap. I rented this from my local baby wearing group and I love it! I’ve tried a few different carriers and woven wraps are my favorite so far. A few other great ones are ring slings and soft structured carriers.

4. Coconut Oil

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The last thing on the list coconut oil. This is my go to for EVERYTHING! I used this when I first started nursing, and it helped a ton with sore nipples. I also mix it with a little bit of breast milk and use it as diaper rash cream. Coconut oil is the only thing I use for my little guy as far as a moisturizer.

I hope this little list helps you find some natural baby products. Each and every one of these products are staples in our household, I seriously couldn’t live without them. Make sure you check back on Sunday for a new post. If you haven’t already make sure you subscribe. When you enter your email you’ll automatically get notifications when I have a new post.  Make sure you post some of your baby must-haves in the comments!

xoxo

Destiny

 

WHY WE LEFT OUR SON INTACT

WHY WE LEFT OUR SON INTACT

Originally this post was supposed to go up on Wednesday, I’m sorry for the delay.  I spent a lot of time debating if I was going to make this post at all. I wasn’t sure if I could handle the potential backlash. After careful consideration, I decided I would go ahead with the post.

Someone very close to me told me “If you believe in something this much you shouldn’t be afraid to share it.” So I’m making this post for all the new moms who are debating circumcision. I hope my story helps you find the answers you’re looking for.

DISCLAIMER: This is just my families story. I am by no means saying you should make the same choice we do. Please DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOUR FAMILY! Also, I am in no way trying to make those who did circumcise their sons feel guilty, or saying they are bad parents.  I will be including pictures or procedures, links to videos of the procedure being performed on newborns. This content may be disturbing to some viewers. Please proceed with caution 

So I guess I’ll start by telling you all the definition of circumcise. It’s defined on Merriam-Webster as “to cut off the foreskin of (a male) or the prepuce or clitoris and labia minora of (a female)”.  Yes, you read that right females have foreskin as well, but more on that later. Next, We’ll discuss why people circumcise. The three main reasons are a religion (however for your sake and mine I won’t be discussing religious reasons in depth), medical necessity, and culture.

Religion: Like I said I won’t be going into to much detail here. Just know people circumcise their children for religious reasons. To my knowledge, this is found in most religions, but Judaism is the most common. If you’re a person of faith and anything I’ve stated here is incorrect please feel free to correct me.

Medical necessity: This is where things can get a little confusing. In the past, it was believed circumcision prevented STD transmission, penile cancer, UTI’s. More recent studies have found this to be false.

Culture: In most countries, newborn baby boys are NOT  circumcised. This is really only an American custom. In our society intact men are seen as dirty, or ugly. We’ve become so accustomed to seeing circumcised penises that men left in their natural state are ostracized. If you’d like more info about the rates of newborn circumcision click this link.

Now that we’ve learned a little bit about circumcision lets get into why my partner and I chose not to circumcise.

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Honestly, it started with this picture. I stumbled across this while researching circumcision and I couldn’t stomach the thought of my little baby being strapped into this thing. The thought of him being in pain because of something I wanted shook me to my core. His body = His choice.

After I found this picture I looked into a video called elephant in the hospital I’ve included a link if you’d like to watch it for yourself. This documentary opened my eyes even more. I started to think about my son’s basic human rights. How could I cut something off of him without his permission? I’ll put it like this, If a doctor came to you and said your baby would look a lot better without his toes would you cut them off? Of course not! That sound insane, so why are we so willing to cut off a part of our child’s penis? Why do we believe boys are born needing to be fixed? I soon learned it wasn’t just boys we had done this to. Young girls were also subjected to genital mutilation (FGM). The practice of FGM was used from the 1800s until the late 1970s to cure everything from female masturbation to lesbianism; It was finally outlawed in the US in 1996. All of that sounds insane, doesn’t it?  We can’t imagine strapping a little girl down to a table and letting a doctor cut off parts of her genitalia, so why are we doing it to our sons!  More information about FGM can be found here.

The more I researched the angrier I became. Then I learned that some babies actually die from complications of this barbaric procedure. A recent study conducted found that 117 boys die annually from circumcision-related complications. You can read more about the study here.  The fact that male genital mutilation hasn’t been outlawed based on those numbers is astounding. Here an example to help you put things into perspective. Remember drop-side cribs? In the late 2000s, it was reported that children were dropping the side of their cribs and either suffocating or strangling themselves. The CPSC banned drop-side cribs after 38 reported deaths. You can find more on that right here.  Once I discovered this information I knew circumcision was not the right choice for my family.

Like I said in the beginning, this is just my family’s story. I’m not trying to make anyone feeling guilty about their decision to circumcise or not to. My only hope is that this will open people’s eyes a little. Do your own research and come to your own conclusion. Circumcision wasn’t the right choice for my family. DO WHAT’S BEST FOR YOURS.

I’ve included a few extra links to videos of the procedure being done on a newborn baby. I’ll go ahead and warn you it’s graphic. View discretion is advised.

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Newborn Circumcision 2

Make sure you subscribe so you never miss another post! Just enter your email and you’ll be notified each time I post. A new post will be up on Wednesday ( I promise).

xoxo

Destiny

 

 

THINGS YOUNG PARENTS HEAR TOO OFTEN.

THINGS YOUNG PARENTS HEAR TOO OFTEN.

Hello, my sweet sweet friends! If you’re a young parent like myself I hope you find this post funny! If you’re someone who has ever said any of these things to a parent you should be ashamed of yourself. Enjoy!!

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1.GOD, THAT SUCKS!

This is probably the first thing I heard when I announced I was pregnant. I get it, getting pregnant at twenty isn’t ideal, but pointing out a shitty situation doesn’t make it any less shitty. If you’ve even had a friend tell you they’re expecting a child think twice before you say this to them. Seriously, it hurts.

2. DON’T YOU WISH YOU WOULD HAVE WAITED?

I’m sure there are some people in their early twenties who couldn’t wait to have kids. So I’m sure when they found out they were expecting they couldn’t have been happier. For myself (and I’m sure for most people) this couldn’t be further from the truth. In the beginning, I was not excited, or happy at all. I was terrified and confused. I literally cried for about a week straight. That being said, when someone tells you they’re expecting a little one (most likely a little earlier than they thought they would) don’t insult them by pointing out the obvious. YES, they probably wish they would have waited. They’ve decided to roll with it, so they don’t need you pointing that out captain obvious.

3. HOPEFULLY, THEY DON’T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE YOU DID. 

If you’ve ever said this to someone go tell that person you’re sorry! I can’t count the time I’ve had someone tell me this, but each time it happens my heart breaks. This is possibly the worst thing you could say to someone expecting a baby. If you don’t have children of your own then you don’t understand how scary it can be. Seriously, everything gets scary after you have a child. Trust me, parents have enough on their minds already. They don’t need you making them feel like they’re going to mess up their kid. Believe me, they already worry about that all the time.

4. YOU’RE DOING ____ WRONG!

Feel free to fill in the blank with whatever you’d like. If you’re a parent I’m sure you’ve heard this a few times. When you become a parent it’s like people automatically assume you want their opinion. You can expect to hear from anyone and everyone how you’re doing something the wrong way. For my readers who don’t have children I’ll go ahead and let you know, there is NO right way to raise a child.

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Well, there you have it, folks, a list of things you should NEVER say to a parent! I hope you enjoyed. A new mid-week post will be up on Wednesday. I’ll be sharing a little bit about why my son isn’t circumcised. If you haven’t subscribed make sure you do, so you’ll never miss a post. When you enter your email you’ll be signed up to receive reminders whenever I post!

xoxo

Destiny

5 REASON YOU SHOULD DRINK LEMON WATER

5 REASON YOU SHOULD DRINK LEMON WATER

Hello my sweet sweet friends! I’m glad you’re back. Today I’m continuing the theme of healthy habits. I hope these tips will help you all lead a healthy lifestyle. Well, on to the good stuff.

  1. It helps boost your immune system.

Hello, Vitamin C! Keeping your natural levels of vitamin C can be difficult due to stress, and other environmental factors. This drop in vitamin C can leave you more susceptible to illness. Having a glass of warm lemon water every morning will help keep your immune system in tip-top shape!

2. It can help lower blood pressure

The high levels of potassium found if lemons can not only lower your blood pressure, but it can also improve brain function.  If you want to improve your focus, have an afternoon cup of lemon water or tea. Whatever floats your boat.

3. It balances your ph

Lemons are one of the most alkaline foods out there, because of this lemons can help create an alkaline state in your body. This helps your body restore itself to homeostasis. This is extremely important because and acid environment within our bodies creates a breeding ground for cancer.

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4. It could help you with weight loss.

Lemons are high in pectin fiber. This type of fiber helps fight hunger pangs and can make you feel fuller for longer. Sip on lemon water between meals, and might find yourself reaching for snacks less often.

5. It aids in digestion

Lemon water helps your body flush out unwanted material, helps your liver produce bile, a substance essential for proper digestion. Better digestion equals less heartburn and constipation!

well, there you have it, folks! I hope these tips help you throughout your health journey. Don’t forget to sip on some lemon water, my friends!

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xoxo

Destiny