WHY WE LEFT OUR SON INTACT

WHY WE LEFT OUR SON INTACT

Originally this post was supposed to go up on Wednesday, I’m sorry for the delay.  I spent a lot of time debating if I was going to make this post at all. I wasn’t sure if I could handle the potential backlash. After careful consideration, I decided I would go ahead with the post.

Someone very close to me told me “If you believe in something this much you shouldn’t be afraid to share it.” So I’m making this post for all the new moms who are debating circumcision. I hope my story helps you find the answers you’re looking for.

DISCLAIMER: This is just my families story. I am by no means saying you should make the same choice we do. Please DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOUR FAMILY! Also, I am in no way trying to make those who did circumcise their sons feel guilty, or saying they are bad parents.  I will be including pictures or procedures, links to videos of the procedure being performed on newborns. This content may be disturbing to some viewers. Please proceed with caution 

So I guess I’ll start by telling you all the definition of circumcise. It’s defined on Merriam-Webster as “to cut off the foreskin of (a male) or the prepuce or clitoris and labia minora of (a female)”.  Yes, you read that right females have foreskin as well, but more on that later. Next, We’ll discuss why people circumcise. The three main reasons are a religion (however for your sake and mine I won’t be discussing religious reasons in depth), medical necessity, and culture.

Religion: Like I said I won’t be going into to much detail here. Just know people circumcise their children for religious reasons. To my knowledge, this is found in most religions, but Judaism is the most common. If you’re a person of faith and anything I’ve stated here is incorrect please feel free to correct me.

Medical necessity: This is where things can get a little confusing. In the past, it was believed circumcision prevented STD transmission, penile cancer, UTI’s. More recent studies have found this to be false.

Culture: In most countries, newborn baby boys are NOT  circumcised. This is really only an American custom. In our society intact men are seen as dirty, or ugly. We’ve become so accustomed to seeing circumcised penises that men left in their natural state are ostracized. If you’d like more info about the rates of newborn circumcision click this link.

Now that we’ve learned a little bit about circumcision lets get into why my partner and I chose not to circumcise.

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Honestly, it started with this picture. I stumbled across this while researching circumcision and I couldn’t stomach the thought of my little baby being strapped into this thing. The thought of him being in pain because of something I wanted shook me to my core. His body = His choice.

After I found this picture I looked into a video called elephant in the hospital I’ve included a link if you’d like to watch it for yourself. This documentary opened my eyes even more. I started to think about my son’s basic human rights. How could I cut something off of him without his permission? I’ll put it like this, If a doctor came to you and said your baby would look a lot better without his toes would you cut them off? Of course not! That sound insane, so why are we so willing to cut off a part of our child’s penis? Why do we believe boys are born needing to be fixed? I soon learned it wasn’t just boys we had done this to. Young girls were also subjected to genital mutilation (FGM). The practice of FGM was used from the 1800s until the late 1970s to cure everything from female masturbation to lesbianism; It was finally outlawed in the US in 1996. All of that sounds insane, doesn’t it?  We can’t imagine strapping a little girl down to a table and letting a doctor cut off parts of her genitalia, so why are we doing it to our sons!  More information about FGM can be found here.

The more I researched the angrier I became. Then I learned that some babies actually die from complications of this barbaric procedure. A recent study conducted found that 117 boys die annually from circumcision-related complications. You can read more about the study here.  The fact that male genital mutilation hasn’t been outlawed based on those numbers is astounding. Here an example to help you put things into perspective. Remember drop-side cribs? In the late 2000s, it was reported that children were dropping the side of their cribs and either suffocating or strangling themselves. The CPSC banned drop-side cribs after 38 reported deaths. You can find more on that right here.  Once I discovered this information I knew circumcision was not the right choice for my family.

Like I said in the beginning, this is just my family’s story. I’m not trying to make anyone feeling guilty about their decision to circumcise or not to. My only hope is that this will open people’s eyes a little. Do your own research and come to your own conclusion. Circumcision wasn’t the right choice for my family. DO WHAT’S BEST FOR YOURS.

I’ve included a few extra links to videos of the procedure being done on a newborn baby. I’ll go ahead and warn you it’s graphic. View discretion is advised.

Newborn circumcision

Newborn Circumcision 2

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xoxo

Destiny

 

 

THINGS YOUNG PARENTS HEAR TOO OFTEN.

THINGS YOUNG PARENTS HEAR TOO OFTEN.

Hello, my sweet sweet friends! If you’re a young parent like myself I hope you find this post funny! If you’re someone who has ever said any of these things to a parent you should be ashamed of yourself. Enjoy!!

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1.GOD, THAT SUCKS!

This is probably the first thing I heard when I announced I was pregnant. I get it, getting pregnant at twenty isn’t ideal, but pointing out a shitty situation doesn’t make it any less shitty. If you’ve even had a friend tell you they’re expecting a child think twice before you say this to them. Seriously, it hurts.

2. DON’T YOU WISH YOU WOULD HAVE WAITED?

I’m sure there are some people in their early twenties who couldn’t wait to have kids. So I’m sure when they found out they were expecting they couldn’t have been happier. For myself (and I’m sure for most people) this couldn’t be further from the truth. In the beginning, I was not excited, or happy at all. I was terrified and confused. I literally cried for about a week straight. That being said, when someone tells you they’re expecting a little one (most likely a little earlier than they thought they would) don’t insult them by pointing out the obvious. YES, they probably wish they would have waited. They’ve decided to roll with it, so they don’t need you pointing that out captain obvious.

3. HOPEFULLY, THEY DON’T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE YOU DID. 

If you’ve ever said this to someone go tell that person you’re sorry! I can’t count the time I’ve had someone tell me this, but each time it happens my heart breaks. This is possibly the worst thing you could say to someone expecting a baby. If you don’t have children of your own then you don’t understand how scary it can be. Seriously, everything gets scary after you have a child. Trust me, parents have enough on their minds already. They don’t need you making them feel like they’re going to mess up their kid. Believe me, they already worry about that all the time.

4. YOU’RE DOING ____ WRONG!

Feel free to fill in the blank with whatever you’d like. If you’re a parent I’m sure you’ve heard this a few times. When you become a parent it’s like people automatically assume you want their opinion. You can expect to hear from anyone and everyone how you’re doing something the wrong way. For my readers who don’t have children I’ll go ahead and let you know, there is NO right way to raise a child.

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Well, there you have it, folks, a list of things you should NEVER say to a parent! I hope you enjoyed. A new mid-week post will be up on Wednesday. I’ll be sharing a little bit about why my son isn’t circumcised. If you haven’t subscribed make sure you do, so you’ll never miss a post. When you enter your email you’ll be signed up to receive reminders whenever I post!

xoxo

Destiny